It’s 2:30 a.m. and I’m wide awake reading things from a previous relationship, from the very beginning. I was a different person 3 years ago, a really happy person.
Don’t get me wrong, I am happy today; but honestly going through bad relationships can change you and let you forget who you are. Reading old things I wrote at the beginning of my past two relationships I was so happy, so selfless, so positive and just enjoying life. Again, I still do all those today… But in a different way.
I let bad relationships change my outlook on life and love. I never realized how different I am today than I used to be. Trust me, I totally get we change in 3,4 or 5 years I know. But, what I never wanted to lose was my constant smile, happiness and positive outlook on love and life. I’m constantly second-guessing myself on EVERYTHING when I never used to. Why? Why did I let people use and abuse me.
To me current love, I’m so sorry for letting them change me. I wish you could have known me 4 years ago when I was so much more positive and looked at the world in pure happiness and didn’t give anything a second guess.
I’m sorry for all the “are you sure?” Or the “do you really love me?” I shouldn’t have to ask these questions to YOU, when I never questioned the past.
Thank you for never giving up like the rest did. Thank you for loving me when I can’t even look in the mirror. Thank you for always reminding me I am worth it and that I can do anything I put my mind too. Thank you for being the better half of me.
I’m slowly but surely getting back to my old self and it feels damn good.